Lately, I've been asked a lot by prospective student midwives and classes of high school students to share about the hardest part of being a midwife.
I usually will laugh and say it's the lack of sleep that goes along with birth work. But honestly, I don't really mind missing sleep. In the moment, it can be hard to have been physically awake for more than 24 plus hours, but we make do.
I've been really pondering this question internally, though: What is the hardest part of being a midwife (for me)?
I've come to the conclusion that it is the never ending questioning that I do of myself, or my actions, of how things play out.
There are a handful of births that haunt me, that I constantly turn over and over in my head, thinking about them from different angles, wondering why things happened the way they did. This has got to be the hardest thing. I've attended a couple of births which I have thought about daily for what seems like months, and then the memory slowly fades from my daily thoughts, and then when a random occurrence brings up the memory, it feels as if a scab has been pulled from my skin and my emotions are raw all over again.
(I want to make it clear that these handful of births had good outcomes...healthy mother, healthy baby. Some were transports, some were homebirths.)
Being a midwife has taught me so many things that have nothing to do with birth or babies. It has been an amazing journey. I suspect that many midwives begin their journey with their ego leading the way. There are many other professions where this is probably the case, but in midwifery, I run across it often. I know that for me, personally, being involved in birth and midwifery has taught me (and I am still learning!) big huge lessons about the ego.
Showing posts with label homebirth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homebirth. Show all posts
Friday, April 29, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Where are the mothers?
I live in a city with a hospital that has roughly 3,500 births every year.
Their cesarean rate is very hard to find (as are most hospitals'), but based upon information from some of the doctors and nurses that work there, it is estimated to be around 50% (some say closer to 60%). The rate is, in part, this high because the hospital doesn't "allow" VBACs. So, the many first-time mothers whose labor inductions fail (induction rate is very high in my area) or whose labor is taking too long that end up having a cesarean...with future babies, they are told that they must have a repeat cesarean. I have met many mothers in my city that have had 4 and 5 cesareans. It is criminal.
There is a hospital about 20 minutes away that allows providers to attend VBAC, though not every provider does.
Where are the mothers? I am a little surprised to see how very, very few women seek out the services of a midwife for an out of hospital VBAC. I would expect there would be such a demand that we would be needing more and more midwives to accommodate the demand. But, there isn't.
Of course, not every mother will decide that an HBAC is the right choice for her. But, it makes me wonder...where are the mothers? Ar they signing up for repeat cesareans? Are their doctors telling them that, although their hospital doesn't 'allow' VBACs, even the National Institute of Health came to the conclusion that a VBAC is a perfectly safe option and that perhaps they should look into different birth options? I seriously doubt that.
There are approximately 50-60 homebirths each year in my county. It would make me so happy to see that number sky-rocket in the coming years.
Their cesarean rate is very hard to find (as are most hospitals'), but based upon information from some of the doctors and nurses that work there, it is estimated to be around 50% (some say closer to 60%). The rate is, in part, this high because the hospital doesn't "allow" VBACs. So, the many first-time mothers whose labor inductions fail (induction rate is very high in my area) or whose labor is taking too long that end up having a cesarean...with future babies, they are told that they must have a repeat cesarean. I have met many mothers in my city that have had 4 and 5 cesareans. It is criminal.
There is a hospital about 20 minutes away that allows providers to attend VBAC, though not every provider does.
Where are the mothers? I am a little surprised to see how very, very few women seek out the services of a midwife for an out of hospital VBAC. I would expect there would be such a demand that we would be needing more and more midwives to accommodate the demand. But, there isn't.
Of course, not every mother will decide that an HBAC is the right choice for her. But, it makes me wonder...where are the mothers? Ar they signing up for repeat cesareans? Are their doctors telling them that, although their hospital doesn't 'allow' VBACs, even the National Institute of Health came to the conclusion that a VBAC is a perfectly safe option and that perhaps they should look into different birth options? I seriously doubt that.
There are approximately 50-60 homebirths each year in my county. It would make me so happy to see that number sky-rocket in the coming years.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Clarification
Because I think there may be some confusion from my last blog entry, I wanted to clarify something.
The rule changes that are being proposed will not make breech, twins, VBACs and postdates 'illegal' or absolute risk factors for licensed midwives. They will still be 'allowed' to attend them out of hospital.
But, they are creating stringent criteria in each of those categories, proposing to dictate under what terms a VBAC, breech, twin, postdate birth would be considered safe enough to stay home (with a licensed midwife).
For example, if the baby is breech, is must be frank breech with an estimated fetal weight less than __gms. Or....once you hit 41 weeks, you must have a weekly biophysical profile and get a score of __ or better to continue with a homebirth. (AGAIN, THIS IS JUST AN EXAMPLE OF SOME OF WHAT I HAVE HEARD BEING PROPOSED. ITS STILL ALL IN PROCESS).
Oregon's current rules dictating what is an absolute risk factor for out of hospital birth with a licensed midwife are very BROAD with lots of grey area. They were originally written this way on purpose.
It should be up to each mother and each midwife individually to decide if they are comfortable proceeding with an out of hospital birth, not up to the licensing board. I think that the informed choice process is critical in this issue.
So, when writing those letters, please remember they are not (at this point) discussing making VBACs, twins, breeches, and postdates illegal...but are trying to put restrictions and set in stone guidelines around them. (Not good for birthing women!)
Come to the meetings if you can!!!
The rule changes that are being proposed will not make breech, twins, VBACs and postdates 'illegal' or absolute risk factors for licensed midwives. They will still be 'allowed' to attend them out of hospital.
But, they are creating stringent criteria in each of those categories, proposing to dictate under what terms a VBAC, breech, twin, postdate birth would be considered safe enough to stay home (with a licensed midwife).
For example, if the baby is breech, is must be frank breech with an estimated fetal weight less than __gms. Or....once you hit 41 weeks, you must have a weekly biophysical profile and get a score of __ or better to continue with a homebirth. (AGAIN, THIS IS JUST AN EXAMPLE OF SOME OF WHAT I HAVE HEARD BEING PROPOSED. ITS STILL ALL IN PROCESS).
Oregon's current rules dictating what is an absolute risk factor for out of hospital birth with a licensed midwife are very BROAD with lots of grey area. They were originally written this way on purpose.
It should be up to each mother and each midwife individually to decide if they are comfortable proceeding with an out of hospital birth, not up to the licensing board. I think that the informed choice process is critical in this issue.
So, when writing those letters, please remember they are not (at this point) discussing making VBACs, twins, breeches, and postdates illegal...but are trying to put restrictions and set in stone guidelines around them. (Not good for birthing women!)
Come to the meetings if you can!!!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Arrival of Sierra Journey
My client has graciously allowed me to share her daughter's birth story here. A beautiful story of the birth of a beautiful baby!
In her words....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our Journey
It was on Beltane, May day, your due date. I was never a believer of "due dates" and whenever people asked when you were due, I told them springtime.
Yet, you came earthside on such a beautiful, warm day. The trees were just starting to blossom with little buds. I could feel the twinge of labor coming on, slowly and lightly. I told my dear partner, Jesse, that it was time, and we drove to a friend's farm.
When we arrived, I was just in the mood to take a slow amble around the farm. We walked on a tiny dirt path through the tall grass to a little pond surrounded by huge trees and flowers. The contractions slowed down. I guess the rocking sensation of walking relaxed you. We slept outside on the grass under a tree for most of the afternoon.
I woke up with the urge to go take a warm bath. Jesse and I got into the bathtub and I felt so relaxed...and then the contractions started rushing in with gusto. Blood was coming out in little bits. Jesse told the midwives that things were really progressing. They got on their way, and we filled up the big blue birthing tub outside on the grass. I absolutely loved the smell of fresh grass and watched two little spring robins play around.
The rushes became stronger and stronger. Soon, I lost nearly all my sense of control and just let go. I let the sounds inside of me out. I moved around madly with every pang of contraction. Our midwives came outside to check on your heartbeat once in every while. They were completely silent and stayed inside most of the time. It was starting to get dark and cold outside. I asked my midwife when she came outside, "When will I know how or when to push?" She smiled and said that my body would do it for me, and that you and I would work together.
Not very long after that, I decided to head into the bathroom with Jesse. I took a few sips of water, and with three ABSOLUTELY overwhelming contractions, I yelled and felt like I was about to throw up. I felt like I was being turned inside out. There was absolutely no holding back. You came so FAST. I was standing up. Jesse could see the intact water bag come out first, your head twisting out. The bag broke and you slid right out, in your father's hands.
Jesse immediately gave you to me. You quickly raised your arm towards me, your fingers spread out, touching my heart.
And then I realized that your birth was unhindered and beautiful. The way women in so many cultures have done it for centuries. I felt so empowered, strong.
And the rain immediately started pouring outside.
In her words....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our Journey
It was on Beltane, May day, your due date. I was never a believer of "due dates" and whenever people asked when you were due, I told them springtime.
Yet, you came earthside on such a beautiful, warm day. The trees were just starting to blossom with little buds. I could feel the twinge of labor coming on, slowly and lightly. I told my dear partner, Jesse, that it was time, and we drove to a friend's farm.
When we arrived, I was just in the mood to take a slow amble around the farm. We walked on a tiny dirt path through the tall grass to a little pond surrounded by huge trees and flowers. The contractions slowed down. I guess the rocking sensation of walking relaxed you. We slept outside on the grass under a tree for most of the afternoon.
I woke up with the urge to go take a warm bath. Jesse and I got into the bathtub and I felt so relaxed...and then the contractions started rushing in with gusto. Blood was coming out in little bits. Jesse told the midwives that things were really progressing. They got on their way, and we filled up the big blue birthing tub outside on the grass. I absolutely loved the smell of fresh grass and watched two little spring robins play around.
The rushes became stronger and stronger. Soon, I lost nearly all my sense of control and just let go. I let the sounds inside of me out. I moved around madly with every pang of contraction. Our midwives came outside to check on your heartbeat once in every while. They were completely silent and stayed inside most of the time. It was starting to get dark and cold outside. I asked my midwife when she came outside, "When will I know how or when to push?" She smiled and said that my body would do it for me, and that you and I would work together.
Not very long after that, I decided to head into the bathroom with Jesse. I took a few sips of water, and with three ABSOLUTELY overwhelming contractions, I yelled and felt like I was about to throw up. I felt like I was being turned inside out. There was absolutely no holding back. You came so FAST. I was standing up. Jesse could see the intact water bag come out first, your head twisting out. The bag broke and you slid right out, in your father's hands.
Jesse immediately gave you to me. You quickly raised your arm towards me, your fingers spread out, touching my heart.
And then I realized that your birth was unhindered and beautiful. The way women in so many cultures have done it for centuries. I felt so empowered, strong.
And the rain immediately started pouring outside.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Why "Radical"?
My husband has said before that he doesn't understand why I would identify myself as 'radical'. He thinks it has a negative connotation. And, maybe it does in many situations. Honestly, I was originally inspired to pick the name 'Radical Midwife' for my blog by the amazing Radical Midwives Association in the UK.
But, there is more. I cannot tell you how often I feel on the fringes of the 'norm' in midwifery. Sometimes it is almost as if I live in a bubble, where I assume at least most midwives not only practice evidence based midwifery, but also know what 'trust birth' means and act on it. Well, if I live in a bubble, it is popped on a regular basis every time I venture out on the Internet or start talking about birth and midwifery with other students or practicing midwives.
The opportunity to reconsider the name of this blog arose recently when I opened a twitter account to begin twittering. I had to choose a user name. After some thinking, i went with 'radicalmidwife'. The obvious reason being that it matches the name of my blog, so people who know me by my blog will recognize me. However, this also compelled me to re-consider the word 'radical', to be sure its still how I want to identify myself (it is).
So I looked up the definition of 'radical':
From the Merriam Webster dictionary:First off, I love that the word relates back the the Latin form of 'root'. I am constantly thinking about what is midwifery, at its root, and how to get midwifery back to its roots. The 1st definition doesn't really apply...I'm not referring to plants, or linguistics, or mathematics, or eradicating diseases. The 2nd definition listed above fits nicely, though, and of course I can't deny that I love the 4th definition.Date: 14th century1 : of, relating to, or proceeding from a root: as a (1) : of or growing from the root of a plant
(2) : growing from the base of a stem, from a rootlike stem, or from a stem that does not rise above the ground b : of, relating to, or constituting a linguistic root c : of or relating to a mathematical root d : designed to remove the root of a disease or all diseased and potentially diseased tissue
2 : of or relating to the origin : fundamental
3 a : marked by a considerable departure from the usual or traditional : extreme b : tending or disposed to make extreme changes in existing views, habits, conditions, or institutions c : of, relating to, or constituting a political group associated with views, practices, and policies of extreme change d : advocating extreme measures to retain or restore a political state of affairs
4 slang : excellent, cool
3 a and b are more interesting to ponder:
3 a : marked by a considerable departure from the usual or traditional : extreme b : tending or disposed to make extreme changes in existing views, habits, conditions, or institutionsMidwifery is one of the oldest professions / occupations in human history. Yet, I feel we are at a cross-roads on many levels. "Traditional" midwifery or "modern" midwifery? And, what do they even mean? Do they mean the same to everyone? I'm not going to get into this right now; that's another blog post that I promise I will write.
I still really feel like 'Radical Midwife' is a fitting description of myself.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Standing up for homebirth
This video was posted back in August,2009, but I just came across it. In light of what is brewing here in Oregon (which I will discuss more in a separate post), it makes me wish we had a representative who would stand up for homebirth and mothers' rights like Mr. Andrew Laming does here.
To learn more about what is happening with midwifery/homebirth in Australia, here and here you go.
To learn more about what is happening with midwifery/homebirth in Australia, here and here you go.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
My newest son's birth story
Long overdue, here finally is the story of my second son's birth.
Julian Hugo, born July 10, 2009, weighing 9lb, 11oz.
~~~
July 9, we went out to eat at River's favorite thai restaurant. My due date was July 13, and I wasn't feeling like anything was going to happen anytime soon.
I finally laid down to bed around 11:30 that night, and turned out the lights. I felt a contraction that felt strong, and so i glanced at the clock: 11:42pm. A few minutes later, I felt another one, then as it eased off, it felt like I had peed myself. It was just a tiny trickle of fluid, but I jumped out of bed to go into the bathroom to see what was going on. With the light on, I wiped and saw specks of white: vernix! Before I knew it, another contraction started, my 3rd one, and it was really intense!
I got up to tell Walter what had happened, and he muttered something about wanting to get at least an hour of sleep, as he was thinking it was going to be another long labor like it was with our first son. I was fine with that at that moment and went back to sit on the toilet. My contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes right away, and I was pooping like mad, as my body started clearing everything out. Within a few contractions, I was needing to vocalize loudly with each contraction. I knew soon that I did indeed want to call my friends over. This was something that I had considered while pregnant, and I had even sent the three of them an email explaining that if I called them when I started labor, that they were to enter through our side door, not talk to me, and go quietly to another room. They were to also do nothing to me unless I specifically asked. (they are all midwives).
So, i called them. I think i texted P first, then texted A, then called T. When I was talking to T, I had to put the phone down and moan loudly through a couple of contractions. About 20 minutes had passed since my first contraction.
Then my noises woke up River, who was crying. He has a tendency to vomit when he cries hard, and as he was crying in confusion at having just woken up and odd things happening, that's just what he did. So, Walter was occupied with calming him down and cleaning up the mess, and I felt I had made the right decision to call my friends over, as I wasn't sure if Walter would be able to work on getting the pool filled. But, River soon calmed down and Walter got the pool going. I think he was a bit upset about not getting any sleep, as he was still thinking the birth was many hours away. :)
As soon as there was some water in the pool, I got in. At some point, Walter said that they were all there, and I told him to tell them to come over to me. i really needed to talk to them, to complain and tell them how much it hurt.
I want to discuss the pain for a moment here. Let me say that i was in labor with my first son, who is now 6 years old, for a day and a half, and had intense back labor. I never felt anything down in the front of my belly, it was all in my back. I was hoping to not have a repeat of that this time around, and indeed, I didn't have one back-pain twinge. However, the pain of the contractions this time around were just above my pubic bone, and it was like nothing I'd ever felt before! The only way I got through each one was to moan/yell. My son, I learned later, had said that i sounded like an elephant. Those contractions HURT! But between contractions, I felt no pain whatsoever, which was very different from the constant dull back pain during my first labor.
So, i was there in my living room, in the birth pool, with my husband somewhere close by, my son playing in the other room with P, and T and A sitting near me as well. I felt so angry about how much it hurt, and the fact that the water wasn't helping the pain at all. I kept telling them how much it hurt, how they were crazy to have more babies, etc. At one point I remember thinking that I couldn't be a midwife anymore, because how could I tell women to go through with this when it sucked so much! haha! Of course, at that moment, i also thought I had hours more of laboring to go. P made a comment, I think, about how it wouldn't be long and that I'd be meeting my baby before sunrise. I scoffed at that, sure there was no way. At some point, i asked one of them to check me. I could feel my baby's head and some cervix, but couldn't reach well enough to know how dilated i was. The midwife in me knows that dilation means nothing. But, it felt important to me to know that i was close, whatever that really means. They asked me if I was sure I really wanted to be checked, asked if I just wanted them to talk me out off it, asked what i wanted from the exam. I snapped that, yes, I wanted it, and that I wanted them to tell me I was nearly complete and not 4 centimeters or similar. I found out later that there was a silent argument in the hallway about who would do it, as they knew I wasn't happy and didn't want to have to be the one to tell me what i may not want to hear. In the end, T checked me, and I could tell in the way she looked that I wouldn't like the news. I was 6 centimeters, which was so disappointing!
I'm a little fuzzy on time, but I think this was around 2 hours after my first contraction. At some point, my body started to bear down involuntarily. After the first time it happened, I remember yelling out that I wasn't pushing! (even though I obviously was, I was still convinced it would be hours more and I didn't want them to think that I was pushing already.) He was born at 3:03 am, after 3 or 4 pushes, into my own hands in the water, with my older son and husband looking on. About 3 hours and 20 minutes of labor in all. It was amazing!
The placenta took a while to come and was finally born while I sat on the birth stool. We did a lotus birth, meaning we didn't cut the cord. It fell off on its own when Julian was 3 days old.
Julian Hugo, born July 10, 2009, weighing 9lb, 11oz.
~~~
July 9, we went out to eat at River's favorite thai restaurant. My due date was July 13, and I wasn't feeling like anything was going to happen anytime soon.
I finally laid down to bed around 11:30 that night, and turned out the lights. I felt a contraction that felt strong, and so i glanced at the clock: 11:42pm. A few minutes later, I felt another one, then as it eased off, it felt like I had peed myself. It was just a tiny trickle of fluid, but I jumped out of bed to go into the bathroom to see what was going on. With the light on, I wiped and saw specks of white: vernix! Before I knew it, another contraction started, my 3rd one, and it was really intense!
I got up to tell Walter what had happened, and he muttered something about wanting to get at least an hour of sleep, as he was thinking it was going to be another long labor like it was with our first son. I was fine with that at that moment and went back to sit on the toilet. My contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes right away, and I was pooping like mad, as my body started clearing everything out. Within a few contractions, I was needing to vocalize loudly with each contraction. I knew soon that I did indeed want to call my friends over. This was something that I had considered while pregnant, and I had even sent the three of them an email explaining that if I called them when I started labor, that they were to enter through our side door, not talk to me, and go quietly to another room. They were to also do nothing to me unless I specifically asked. (they are all midwives).
So, i called them. I think i texted P first, then texted A, then called T. When I was talking to T, I had to put the phone down and moan loudly through a couple of contractions. About 20 minutes had passed since my first contraction.
Then my noises woke up River, who was crying. He has a tendency to vomit when he cries hard, and as he was crying in confusion at having just woken up and odd things happening, that's just what he did. So, Walter was occupied with calming him down and cleaning up the mess, and I felt I had made the right decision to call my friends over, as I wasn't sure if Walter would be able to work on getting the pool filled. But, River soon calmed down and Walter got the pool going. I think he was a bit upset about not getting any sleep, as he was still thinking the birth was many hours away. :)
As soon as there was some water in the pool, I got in. At some point, Walter said that they were all there, and I told him to tell them to come over to me. i really needed to talk to them, to complain and tell them how much it hurt.
I want to discuss the pain for a moment here. Let me say that i was in labor with my first son, who is now 6 years old, for a day and a half, and had intense back labor. I never felt anything down in the front of my belly, it was all in my back. I was hoping to not have a repeat of that this time around, and indeed, I didn't have one back-pain twinge. However, the pain of the contractions this time around were just above my pubic bone, and it was like nothing I'd ever felt before! The only way I got through each one was to moan/yell. My son, I learned later, had said that i sounded like an elephant. Those contractions HURT! But between contractions, I felt no pain whatsoever, which was very different from the constant dull back pain during my first labor.
So, i was there in my living room, in the birth pool, with my husband somewhere close by, my son playing in the other room with P, and T and A sitting near me as well. I felt so angry about how much it hurt, and the fact that the water wasn't helping the pain at all. I kept telling them how much it hurt, how they were crazy to have more babies, etc. At one point I remember thinking that I couldn't be a midwife anymore, because how could I tell women to go through with this when it sucked so much! haha! Of course, at that moment, i also thought I had hours more of laboring to go. P made a comment, I think, about how it wouldn't be long and that I'd be meeting my baby before sunrise. I scoffed at that, sure there was no way. At some point, i asked one of them to check me. I could feel my baby's head and some cervix, but couldn't reach well enough to know how dilated i was. The midwife in me knows that dilation means nothing. But, it felt important to me to know that i was close, whatever that really means. They asked me if I was sure I really wanted to be checked, asked if I just wanted them to talk me out off it, asked what i wanted from the exam. I snapped that, yes, I wanted it, and that I wanted them to tell me I was nearly complete and not 4 centimeters or similar. I found out later that there was a silent argument in the hallway about who would do it, as they knew I wasn't happy and didn't want to have to be the one to tell me what i may not want to hear. In the end, T checked me, and I could tell in the way she looked that I wouldn't like the news. I was 6 centimeters, which was so disappointing!
I'm a little fuzzy on time, but I think this was around 2 hours after my first contraction. At some point, my body started to bear down involuntarily. After the first time it happened, I remember yelling out that I wasn't pushing! (even though I obviously was, I was still convinced it would be hours more and I didn't want them to think that I was pushing already.) He was born at 3:03 am, after 3 or 4 pushes, into my own hands in the water, with my older son and husband looking on. About 3 hours and 20 minutes of labor in all. It was amazing!
The placenta took a while to come and was finally born while I sat on the birth stool. We did a lotus birth, meaning we didn't cut the cord. It fell off on its own when Julian was 3 days old.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Birth of Benjamin
(What follows is the birth story of sweet Benjamin Timothy as told by his mama, reposted here with permission. He was born at home on January 5, 2010, weighing 8 lb 8 oz)
My birth with this baby started 4 yrs ago with the birth of my first. After 10 days of prodromal labor, Cameron was born on a cold day in February at 42 weeks. I went to the hospital in sheer desperation for sleep b/c of the constant contractions. At that point, I didn't care about the baby any more. They tried to break my water but only got a little leak. He was born 6 hrs later. I wanted something different with my next baby.
Elijah was born two years later, in May, after an AROM induction at 42 weeks with an experienced midwife at home. While it was a homebirth, I had kind of been relegated to the bedroom for most of labor and was not very active during labor. Overall, better than the hospital, but still, something was missing.
I consciously know when Benjamin was conceived. I told my husband that I would get pregnant that night. We were in Salem, Oregon, looking forward to a move, scoping things out and excited about our future as a family. I confirmed pregnancy 2 weeks later.
We moved and Bret couldn't find a job so I worked 6 months part time at a local hospital as a registrar to support us. I was tired all the time, the boys were missing me, but Bret still didn't have a job so I didn't have a choice.
I found a midwife as soon as I moved up here. Lennon was comfortable to talk to and I felt free to want the birth I hadn't had yet. She was very willing/capable to handle more difficult births, if they arose. I was nervous both about the possibility of 42 weeks again and also that Elijah & Cameron had been breech until 37 weeks.
Two months before my due date, Bret got a very part-time on call job. Two weeks before my due date, he got a full-time job with benefits. God's timing is impeccable. I stopped working a week before my due date b/c of intense contractions that kept me up all night. I had to call in sick to my two last shifts and felt really bad about that.
Family came for the holidays, I thought Monster would come then b/c of some major labor type activity. But no. Family left. My due date passed and I started to doubt my ability to go into labor. I had emotional breakdowns. I ate brownies. I ate extra sharp yellow cheddar cheese, the only thing I've ever craved in a pregnancy. I got swap packages ready. The boys were wearing me out with Bret's 12 hr work shifts so I was ready for baby to come.
Monday, Jan 4th, Bret came home from work and I asked if I could go do some errands sans boys. I was highly irritable and pubic symphysis dysfunction had just set in painfully making it hard to be a good mommy. So, I went out, fed the horse, went to a store to buy some puzzles for Cameron, toys for Eli and chocolate for me. Stopped by the grocery store for prescription meds and some herbal cough syrup for Eli. Got in the car and suddenly peed all over myself. It was very embarrassing b/c I never had any sort of incontinence. I kept peeing and couldn't figure out why.
It suddenly hit me as I drove into our parking lot, that my membranes could have possibly ruptured. So, I crossed my legs, waddled upstairs and told Bret to go get the bags from the car. Soaked my first pair of pants. Called Lennon and she said it could be just a small leak but to keep her updated.
Ate dinner, had some of the regular old contractions I'd had for weeks. More leaking, definitely was not pee. The boys were tired so I put them to bed at 6:30 instead of the normal 8:30. Both went down fairly well and I noticed contractions picking up to about 5-7 min apart and not too strong.
Called Lennon to update her. Updated some of my friends online who were eagerly waiting to hear about baby. Went to sleep from 10:30-midnight and stronger contrax woke me.
Got up, went in living room for a while and then Elijah woke up and wandered out. He apparently thought it was morning. I laid him in bed, he was dry coughing a lot so gave him some cough syrup. He did NOT want to sleep, kept singing to himself, sitting up and smiling at me. The contractions were getting stronger and I was having to blow through them a little. He loved that and would blow back.
I NEEDED him to sleep so I could get up and call Lennon. I couldn't leave him to get Bret if he was awake 'cause we'd start it ALL over again. So I laid there...for 2.5 hrs, trying to move with contractions and blow quietly. Finally, he was asleep. I jumped up, checked the clock and contrax were 2-3 min apart. Called Lennon, asked her to come right away (she's an hour away) and woke up Bret to go into the boys' bedroom.
Finally, I could start labor. I paced and rocked almost the whole labor, swaying. The contractions were getting strong in my back and hips. Lennon and Angie (midwife apprentice) arrived at 3:40 or so, walking in without knocking and I smiled at them and said I was glad they were there, that things were getting painful and I was tired of being alone. I don't think they had any idea how far I was b/c I was smiling, lighthearted. We had agreed earlier in the week not to do any vag checks unnecessarily so there was no picture of how far along I was in that sense.
I felt like there was a stall when they arrived though, that I sensed an intrusion for a while and needed to regain my composure and start going back into my little dark quiet space. I asked them if we could just have the blue cafe lights on in the living room with minimal lighting and they were fine with that.
Even with them there, I was alone in my labor, sometimes sitting on my knees rocking to all fours, sometimes just standing swaying. My noises turned from low moans to horse lips and a few "ow"s when things would sting a little. My midwife kept telling me softly, "You're making this look easy. You're doing great."
In between contrax, I wanted to throw up. I knew that sometimes that opens you up and I felt like throwing up, but I couldn't make myself do it. With my gallstone issues, throwing up has always meant there was something wrong with me and for some reason, the mental block was there that this was NOT wrong and I shouldn't do it.
Transition came and went quickly. I remember a few things I said, something like, "How did I ever do this twice already? What if he never comes out? How do I make this go away?" At one point, I started crying and frantically reaching out for a hand, meeting Angie's. My eyes were closed. I've always handled pain w/ eyes closed. I cried and was scared a few times but knew that I was safe.
And then, I started whispering, "Down, down, baby, come out. It's time. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't like it. It hurts. Come down now." I have no idea if I was whispering, but it seemed quiet to me and I kept saying that during the next 2 or 3 contractions.
I realized suddenly that I had to push. Someone woke up Bret and he came out as I grunted my first push. I was draped over the little exercise ball and rolled back and forth to push. I remember being relieved that it was almost over. I remember a little fear at the change in pain as he came down. There were a few pushes and he came out in a ball of screaming baby. They helped me sit back and put my bewildered but quieted son in my arms. I soaked him into my soul.
It was less than two hours from Lennon arriving and baby meeting the world. I'm really glad I was able to labor that much on my own.
That was the birth at 5:22 am. It was quiet, dark and sweet.
Lennon and Angie left a while later, after cleaning up. I reclined on the couch sleeping and DH went back to fend off the early waking boys. When they came out at 8, they walked in quietly and then Cameron said, "Mommy, you had the baby!" Cameron wanted to kiss him and kiss him. Eli just smiled and patted his hand and head and kept nodding. Later, Cameron gave me the most perfect example of how I've tried so hard to raise him. He said, "Mommy, you did a REALLY good job. He looks so cute from being born. That was a lot of hard work." What an affirmation from an almost 4 yr old!
I was so empowered by this birth. It was what I wanted. It was the birth I'd been searching for since my first pregnancy. I had imagined birthing in the quietness of night, in the light of the blue bulbs strung along the wall, in the quiet and surrounded by people that believed in me.
I was dumped on with a lot of responsibility in my first post-partum days, unable to get the help I needed to rest. When I have been overwhelmed, I have clung to the sweet dark peace I felt after Benjamin came to me that early morning. While my body has been tired, my mind clearly greets that memory and gives me strength to just get through one more minute, one more hour, one more day.
My birth with this baby started 4 yrs ago with the birth of my first. After 10 days of prodromal labor, Cameron was born on a cold day in February at 42 weeks. I went to the hospital in sheer desperation for sleep b/c of the constant contractions. At that point, I didn't care about the baby any more. They tried to break my water but only got a little leak. He was born 6 hrs later. I wanted something different with my next baby.
Elijah was born two years later, in May, after an AROM induction at 42 weeks with an experienced midwife at home. While it was a homebirth, I had kind of been relegated to the bedroom for most of labor and was not very active during labor. Overall, better than the hospital, but still, something was missing.
I consciously know when Benjamin was conceived. I told my husband that I would get pregnant that night. We were in Salem, Oregon, looking forward to a move, scoping things out and excited about our future as a family. I confirmed pregnancy 2 weeks later.
We moved and Bret couldn't find a job so I worked 6 months part time at a local hospital as a registrar to support us. I was tired all the time, the boys were missing me, but Bret still didn't have a job so I didn't have a choice.
I found a midwife as soon as I moved up here. Lennon was comfortable to talk to and I felt free to want the birth I hadn't had yet. She was very willing/capable to handle more difficult births, if they arose. I was nervous both about the possibility of 42 weeks again and also that Elijah & Cameron had been breech until 37 weeks.
Two months before my due date, Bret got a very part-time on call job. Two weeks before my due date, he got a full-time job with benefits. God's timing is impeccable. I stopped working a week before my due date b/c of intense contractions that kept me up all night. I had to call in sick to my two last shifts and felt really bad about that.
Family came for the holidays, I thought Monster would come then b/c of some major labor type activity. But no. Family left. My due date passed and I started to doubt my ability to go into labor. I had emotional breakdowns. I ate brownies. I ate extra sharp yellow cheddar cheese, the only thing I've ever craved in a pregnancy. I got swap packages ready. The boys were wearing me out with Bret's 12 hr work shifts so I was ready for baby to come.
Monday, Jan 4th, Bret came home from work and I asked if I could go do some errands sans boys. I was highly irritable and pubic symphysis dysfunction had just set in painfully making it hard to be a good mommy. So, I went out, fed the horse, went to a store to buy some puzzles for Cameron, toys for Eli and chocolate for me. Stopped by the grocery store for prescription meds and some herbal cough syrup for Eli. Got in the car and suddenly peed all over myself. It was very embarrassing b/c I never had any sort of incontinence. I kept peeing and couldn't figure out why.
It suddenly hit me as I drove into our parking lot, that my membranes could have possibly ruptured. So, I crossed my legs, waddled upstairs and told Bret to go get the bags from the car. Soaked my first pair of pants. Called Lennon and she said it could be just a small leak but to keep her updated.
Ate dinner, had some of the regular old contractions I'd had for weeks. More leaking, definitely was not pee. The boys were tired so I put them to bed at 6:30 instead of the normal 8:30. Both went down fairly well and I noticed contractions picking up to about 5-7 min apart and not too strong.
Called Lennon to update her. Updated some of my friends online who were eagerly waiting to hear about baby. Went to sleep from 10:30-midnight and stronger contrax woke me.
Got up, went in living room for a while and then Elijah woke up and wandered out. He apparently thought it was morning. I laid him in bed, he was dry coughing a lot so gave him some cough syrup. He did NOT want to sleep, kept singing to himself, sitting up and smiling at me. The contractions were getting stronger and I was having to blow through them a little. He loved that and would blow back.
I NEEDED him to sleep so I could get up and call Lennon. I couldn't leave him to get Bret if he was awake 'cause we'd start it ALL over again. So I laid there...for 2.5 hrs, trying to move with contractions and blow quietly. Finally, he was asleep. I jumped up, checked the clock and contrax were 2-3 min apart. Called Lennon, asked her to come right away (she's an hour away) and woke up Bret to go into the boys' bedroom.
Finally, I could start labor. I paced and rocked almost the whole labor, swaying. The contractions were getting strong in my back and hips. Lennon and Angie (midwife apprentice) arrived at 3:40 or so, walking in without knocking and I smiled at them and said I was glad they were there, that things were getting painful and I was tired of being alone. I don't think they had any idea how far I was b/c I was smiling, lighthearted. We had agreed earlier in the week not to do any vag checks unnecessarily so there was no picture of how far along I was in that sense.
I felt like there was a stall when they arrived though, that I sensed an intrusion for a while and needed to regain my composure and start going back into my little dark quiet space. I asked them if we could just have the blue cafe lights on in the living room with minimal lighting and they were fine with that.
Even with them there, I was alone in my labor, sometimes sitting on my knees rocking to all fours, sometimes just standing swaying. My noises turned from low moans to horse lips and a few "ow"s when things would sting a little. My midwife kept telling me softly, "You're making this look easy. You're doing great."
In between contrax, I wanted to throw up. I knew that sometimes that opens you up and I felt like throwing up, but I couldn't make myself do it. With my gallstone issues, throwing up has always meant there was something wrong with me and for some reason, the mental block was there that this was NOT wrong and I shouldn't do it.
Transition came and went quickly. I remember a few things I said, something like, "How did I ever do this twice already? What if he never comes out? How do I make this go away?" At one point, I started crying and frantically reaching out for a hand, meeting Angie's. My eyes were closed. I've always handled pain w/ eyes closed. I cried and was scared a few times but knew that I was safe.
And then, I started whispering, "Down, down, baby, come out. It's time. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't like it. It hurts. Come down now." I have no idea if I was whispering, but it seemed quiet to me and I kept saying that during the next 2 or 3 contractions.
I realized suddenly that I had to push. Someone woke up Bret and he came out as I grunted my first push. I was draped over the little exercise ball and rolled back and forth to push. I remember being relieved that it was almost over. I remember a little fear at the change in pain as he came down. There were a few pushes and he came out in a ball of screaming baby. They helped me sit back and put my bewildered but quieted son in my arms. I soaked him into my soul.
It was less than two hours from Lennon arriving and baby meeting the world. I'm really glad I was able to labor that much on my own.
That was the birth at 5:22 am. It was quiet, dark and sweet.
Lennon and Angie left a while later, after cleaning up. I reclined on the couch sleeping and DH went back to fend off the early waking boys. When they came out at 8, they walked in quietly and then Cameron said, "Mommy, you had the baby!" Cameron wanted to kiss him and kiss him. Eli just smiled and patted his hand and head and kept nodding. Later, Cameron gave me the most perfect example of how I've tried so hard to raise him. He said, "Mommy, you did a REALLY good job. He looks so cute from being born. That was a lot of hard work." What an affirmation from an almost 4 yr old!
I was so empowered by this birth. It was what I wanted. It was the birth I'd been searching for since my first pregnancy. I had imagined birthing in the quietness of night, in the light of the blue bulbs strung along the wall, in the quiet and surrounded by people that believed in me.
I was dumped on with a lot of responsibility in my first post-partum days, unable to get the help I needed to rest. When I have been overwhelmed, I have clung to the sweet dark peace I felt after Benjamin came to me that early morning. While my body has been tired, my mind clearly greets that memory and gives me strength to just get through one more minute, one more hour, one more day.
Monday, October 19, 2009
The birth of Sean Sylph
My dear client (and friend!) Lee has given me persmission to share her birth story of her sweet stillborn son, Sean Sylph.
*********
Late in the afternoon on September 10th, at 33 weeks of pregnancy, we found out that baby Sean was no longer alive. The morning of Friday, September 11th, after a difficult night, I told my midwives that I was ready to no longer be pregnant and I wanted to go ahead with the birth (we were originally planning for Saturday morning).
After a morning spent with my parents and Jake, we went home and prepared. I set up an altar and Mike and I made sure the house was ready, then I rested for awhile while Jake took a nap. At 3pm, my parents came and picked Jake up. My midwives, Lennon and Angie, arrived.
First Mike and I performed a smudging ceremony to cleanse ourselves and our space.
Then we went upstairs to get started. I was very pleased to find that I was already 6 centimeters dilated, and then Lennon broke the bag of waters. I went and sat in the bathtub to let the water flow out, and eventually filled the tub with some warm water for comfort. About 15 minutes after breaking the waters, I had my first contraction. The contractions were very mild at first, and slowly built up in intensity, frequency, and duration. I stayed in the bathtub for quite awhile, keeping myself upright to help things move along more quickly. Mike sat in the bathroom with me, and my midwives were in the bedroom next door, ready to check on me whenever I called. I had a candle brought up and lit and put in the corner of the bathtub for something to focus on.
Suddenly things changed and I found I could no longer be in the bathtub. I was immediately so hot and dizzy that I broke out into a sweat (it was 90 that day!) and practically ran to the bedroom where I got on my hands and knees on the bed and threw up into a bucket, except only water came out. This was probably transition! I started feeling a little better after that but the contractions were incredibly intense and close together at this point. I just kept myself as comfortable as I could on the bed with pillows to help prop me up to stay upright. Contractions continued to come and go, and I sipped cool water in between and breathed through each one.
Soon I moved to the edge of the bed and sat through a few contractions to ease the pressure on my knees. I asked for the birth stool, which the midwives brought up and set up for me. It felt great to sit on. After a few more contractions, I had a contraction where I let out a long, low, primal moan that surprised me but felt really good. The midwives immediately came into the bedroom and began setting up for the birth. Pushing was slow, with long resting times in between contractions. The baby soon crowned, but wasn't born until about 40 minutes later.
Sean was finally born at 5:40. Mike was the one who caught him and cut the cord. He was put down in front of me and I gently caressed his face and examined his body, toes, and fingers. This was so hard to do. I could see for myself that his body was not normal, his face hadn't developed properly, but he was still my baby that I had loved and carried inside me for 7 and a half months.
I was given the time and space to just look at Sean and be with him. I sat back on the bed, exhausted, and waited for the placenta to come. It took awhile, just like with Jake's birth. When it finally did come out (easily), the midwives found that it hadn't developed quite normally, either. During this time Mike sat with Sean and held him and connected with his spirit.
After the quick, 2 hour labor and birth, I was able to then sit back on my bed and rest. Sean weighed in at 7 pounds, 3 ounces! Mike and I sat with Sean and just held the peace for awhile, contemplating it all.
When we were ready, at about 8:30pm the guy from the funeral home came, and Mike took Sean down to the car and laid him inside. I watched from the upstairs window and then cried as the car drove away.
My parents brought Jake back, and Mike and I hugged our boy tight.
(The middle name: a sylph is a sky spirit, seen in the form of particularly-shaped cloud wisps.)
*********
Thank you, Lee and Mike. Thank you for allowing me to be with you during such a sacred, beautiful and sad event.
*********
Late in the afternoon on September 10th, at 33 weeks of pregnancy, we found out that baby Sean was no longer alive. The morning of Friday, September 11th, after a difficult night, I told my midwives that I was ready to no longer be pregnant and I wanted to go ahead with the birth (we were originally planning for Saturday morning).
After a morning spent with my parents and Jake, we went home and prepared. I set up an altar and Mike and I made sure the house was ready, then I rested for awhile while Jake took a nap. At 3pm, my parents came and picked Jake up. My midwives, Lennon and Angie, arrived.
First Mike and I performed a smudging ceremony to cleanse ourselves and our space.
Then we went upstairs to get started. I was very pleased to find that I was already 6 centimeters dilated, and then Lennon broke the bag of waters. I went and sat in the bathtub to let the water flow out, and eventually filled the tub with some warm water for comfort. About 15 minutes after breaking the waters, I had my first contraction. The contractions were very mild at first, and slowly built up in intensity, frequency, and duration. I stayed in the bathtub for quite awhile, keeping myself upright to help things move along more quickly. Mike sat in the bathroom with me, and my midwives were in the bedroom next door, ready to check on me whenever I called. I had a candle brought up and lit and put in the corner of the bathtub for something to focus on.
Suddenly things changed and I found I could no longer be in the bathtub. I was immediately so hot and dizzy that I broke out into a sweat (it was 90 that day!) and practically ran to the bedroom where I got on my hands and knees on the bed and threw up into a bucket, except only water came out. This was probably transition! I started feeling a little better after that but the contractions were incredibly intense and close together at this point. I just kept myself as comfortable as I could on the bed with pillows to help prop me up to stay upright. Contractions continued to come and go, and I sipped cool water in between and breathed through each one.
Soon I moved to the edge of the bed and sat through a few contractions to ease the pressure on my knees. I asked for the birth stool, which the midwives brought up and set up for me. It felt great to sit on. After a few more contractions, I had a contraction where I let out a long, low, primal moan that surprised me but felt really good. The midwives immediately came into the bedroom and began setting up for the birth. Pushing was slow, with long resting times in between contractions. The baby soon crowned, but wasn't born until about 40 minutes later.
Sean was finally born at 5:40. Mike was the one who caught him and cut the cord. He was put down in front of me and I gently caressed his face and examined his body, toes, and fingers. This was so hard to do. I could see for myself that his body was not normal, his face hadn't developed properly, but he was still my baby that I had loved and carried inside me for 7 and a half months.
I was given the time and space to just look at Sean and be with him. I sat back on the bed, exhausted, and waited for the placenta to come. It took awhile, just like with Jake's birth. When it finally did come out (easily), the midwives found that it hadn't developed quite normally, either. During this time Mike sat with Sean and held him and connected with his spirit.
After the quick, 2 hour labor and birth, I was able to then sit back on my bed and rest. Sean weighed in at 7 pounds, 3 ounces! Mike and I sat with Sean and just held the peace for awhile, contemplating it all.
When we were ready, at about 8:30pm the guy from the funeral home came, and Mike took Sean down to the car and laid him inside. I watched from the upstairs window and then cried as the car drove away.
My parents brought Jake back, and Mike and I hugged our boy tight.
(The middle name: a sylph is a sky spirit, seen in the form of particularly-shaped cloud wisps.)
*********
Thank you, Lee and Mike. Thank you for allowing me to be with you during such a sacred, beautiful and sad event.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The veil
It is a sobering fact that birth and death are closely related. Flip sides of the same coin. Thankfully, birth and death are usually spaced far apart in one's life.
Not always, though.
This month, two of my dear clients have lost their babies, much too soon. Both babies passed from their bodies within 9-10 days of each other. The first in the 26th week of pregnancy, the second in the 33rd week or pregnancy. Otherwise known as intrauterine fetal demise. I don't like that term, though. It sounds much too cold to describe something that deserves all the compassion we can muster.
As a midwife, this felt like a bad dream. Could this really be true? I felt like my heart had been riped out.
The days and weeks that followed have been a time that I can only describe with one word: humbling. I have been in utter awe at the strength of each of these women, in birthing their babies and subsequently saying goodbye to them, and each of these families, in grieving and doing the hard work of moving forward and healing. These babies were/are both dearly loved and very much wanted.
I cannot describe in words how these two babies have touched my life and my work. They will never be forgotten, and will be loved and remembered. Though their time with us was much too short, the gifts each baby gave to all of us whose lives they touched are many.
Not always, though.
This month, two of my dear clients have lost their babies, much too soon. Both babies passed from their bodies within 9-10 days of each other. The first in the 26th week of pregnancy, the second in the 33rd week or pregnancy. Otherwise known as intrauterine fetal demise. I don't like that term, though. It sounds much too cold to describe something that deserves all the compassion we can muster.
As a midwife, this felt like a bad dream. Could this really be true? I felt like my heart had been riped out.
The days and weeks that followed have been a time that I can only describe with one word: humbling. I have been in utter awe at the strength of each of these women, in birthing their babies and subsequently saying goodbye to them, and each of these families, in grieving and doing the hard work of moving forward and healing. These babies were/are both dearly loved and very much wanted.
I cannot describe in words how these two babies have touched my life and my work. They will never be forgotten, and will be loved and remembered. Though their time with us was much too short, the gifts each baby gave to all of us whose lives they touched are many.
Monday, August 03, 2009
He's here!
(and, I'm here still, too. :)
Our newest family member, Julian, made his way earthside on July 10, 2009. It was a fast and intense birth. I was a bit shell-shocked for a few days, but looking back, it was such a wonderful birth! He was a big boy, weighing in at 9lb 11oz (my first baby weighed 6lb 6oz).
Our newest family member, Julian, made his way earthside on July 10, 2009. It was a fast and intense birth. I was a bit shell-shocked for a few days, but looking back, it was such a wonderful birth! He was a big boy, weighing in at 9lb 11oz (my first baby weighed 6lb 6oz).
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Peru's ploy to end homebirth
Peru embraces vertical birth to save lives
Some choice quotes:
"Condori said she did not want to take any chances and that hiking through the mountains was a safer bet than having her baby at home."
"The hope of the program is to cut high rates of maternal mortality by encouraging poor, mostly indigenous Peruvian women to place themselves under the care of professionals."
There were some good things in the article, even if the overall tone is to emphasize that these women are dieing because they are home. Like I was happy to see this:
"Peru's health ministry has said vertical birthing positions can be healthier for women by reducing pressure on the uterus and large blood vessels that can affect the amount of oxygen going to the baby. Standing or sitting during childbirth also tends to reduce labor and delivery time, according to the health ministry, and allows the mother to watch the birth better than if she were lying down."
"The practice of women giving birth on their backs is done for the convenience of doctors, not women, say supporters of Andean birthing methods."
Peru has a recent history of trying to rid itself of traditional rural parteras. I have corresponded with a German homebirth midwife who lives in Cusco, and it is rather hostile there for midwives according to her.
This article makes me feel so frustrated. Yes, Peru's maternal mortality rate is devastatingly too high: 185 women die per 100,000 births. But, is the move to hospital or clinic births the answer?
In my opinion: NO.
Why not start a national program to educate existing midwives in how to treat and handle shock and allow them to carry lifesaving anti-hemorrhagic medications? Why not start a national program to CREATE more midwives who will serve these women in their homes, and ensure they are adequately nourished prenatally? I have read many times that many rural Andean Peruvian women give birth with just their family present, and if there is a problem, they then send their husband out to fetch the midwife.
It has been shown again and again that it isn't the fact of being HOME that increases the maternal mortality rate. It is the undernourishment and poverty of women, and the lack of access to skilled attendants when they are need of them.
Does it really make sense to have a woman hiking 5 hours in labor to reach a clinic to birth? I will be shocked if this support of vertical birth is going to start bringing women in droves to birth in the clinics. Women in many cases can't leave their homes, especially if they have other young children.
My family is planning a vacation to Peru in a few months, and I am hoping to meet the German midwife and talk about this topic more with her.
Some choice quotes:
"Condori said she did not want to take any chances and that hiking through the mountains was a safer bet than having her baby at home."
"The hope of the program is to cut high rates of maternal mortality by encouraging poor, mostly indigenous Peruvian women to place themselves under the care of professionals."
There were some good things in the article, even if the overall tone is to emphasize that these women are dieing because they are home. Like I was happy to see this:
"Peru's health ministry has said vertical birthing positions can be healthier for women by reducing pressure on the uterus and large blood vessels that can affect the amount of oxygen going to the baby. Standing or sitting during childbirth also tends to reduce labor and delivery time, according to the health ministry, and allows the mother to watch the birth better than if she were lying down."
"The practice of women giving birth on their backs is done for the convenience of doctors, not women, say supporters of Andean birthing methods."
Peru has a recent history of trying to rid itself of traditional rural parteras. I have corresponded with a German homebirth midwife who lives in Cusco, and it is rather hostile there for midwives according to her.
This article makes me feel so frustrated. Yes, Peru's maternal mortality rate is devastatingly too high: 185 women die per 100,000 births. But, is the move to hospital or clinic births the answer?
In my opinion: NO.
Why not start a national program to educate existing midwives in how to treat and handle shock and allow them to carry lifesaving anti-hemorrhagic medications? Why not start a national program to CREATE more midwives who will serve these women in their homes, and ensure they are adequately nourished prenatally? I have read many times that many rural Andean Peruvian women give birth with just their family present, and if there is a problem, they then send their husband out to fetch the midwife.
It has been shown again and again that it isn't the fact of being HOME that increases the maternal mortality rate. It is the undernourishment and poverty of women, and the lack of access to skilled attendants when they are need of them.
Does it really make sense to have a woman hiking 5 hours in labor to reach a clinic to birth? I will be shocked if this support of vertical birth is going to start bringing women in droves to birth in the clinics. Women in many cases can't leave their homes, especially if they have other young children.
My family is planning a vacation to Peru in a few months, and I am hoping to meet the German midwife and talk about this topic more with her.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Unassisted footling breech birth
Here is a photo series of a beautiful surprise footling breech unassisted birth. How beautiful!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Homebirth Montage
I know this has been out on the net for a few months now, but it is so wonderful, I just have to put it up here:
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Birth Talk
So, I had this thought the other day. So many people, including myself, seem to assume that homebirth midwives are "protecting" birth and women. But, I am coming to realize more and more that birth survives and happens many times IN SPITE of some midwives. I never thought I would say this, but that is where I am at right now. I keep hearing of more and more stories where the midwife (in a homebirth, btw), is yelling "PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!", telling the woman where, when and how to push, and generally NOT respecting women's intution. It is almost as if there are some midwives who just give lip service to trusting birth, and deep down, they still feel the need to control birth.
I am not midwife bashing. I love midwifery. I am a student midwife myself. I am just seeing more and more exactly what kind of midwife I want to be, and realizing more and more that there are many more differences between midwifes other than CPM, CNM, DEM, etc, etc..... Thank goddess that I had P. at my birth. She is the kind of midwife that I aspire to be. She truly understands what birth is and can be if left alone. I pray for guidance as I walk down my path to midwifery to keep my heart open and to be honest with myself and confront my fears head on.
I am not midwife bashing. I love midwifery. I am a student midwife myself. I am just seeing more and more exactly what kind of midwife I want to be, and realizing more and more that there are many more differences between midwifes other than CPM, CNM, DEM, etc, etc..... Thank goddess that I had P. at my birth. She is the kind of midwife that I aspire to be. She truly understands what birth is and can be if left alone. I pray for guidance as I walk down my path to midwifery to keep my heart open and to be honest with myself and confront my fears head on.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Homebirth Increasing in the UK!
http://www.nct.org.uk/media/pressrelease?prid=108
New National Statistics: Big increase in home births across UK<
Date: Friday, 14 December 2007
New National Statistics: Big increase in home births across UK
The National Childbirth Trust (NCT) welcomes the significant rise in the number of women in the UK giving birth at home, according to official new data provided by by the Office of National Statistics, The General Register Office for Scotland and the Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency and analysed by BirthChoiceUK (available at www.BirthChoiceUK.com).
Across the UK in 2006, 18,953 of all births (741,952) took place at home, compared with 17,277 in 2005. This is an encouraging rise of 9.7% overall, but still only represents 2.5% of all UK births.
The biggest increase - more than 10% - has been in England, where 16,923 women had a home birth.
Scotland shows the second highest rise in the number of home births (762) with an increase of 9.2%. Wales has fallen behind with the smallest increase in home births (1177) - 0.9% - despite having the fastest growing home birth rate in the UK for 2005.
Mary Newburn, Head of Policy Research, NCT, said; "It's very pleasing to see that home birth rates are on the increase, allowing women and their partners greater choice. However, many women around the UK still find it difficult to access a home birth. There is a lack of balanced information available to enable them to make an informed choice about where to have their baby. Low midwifery staffing levels mean that too often the option of a home birth is either not being offered or services end up being withdrawn at short notice."
Local administrative areas with highest and lowest home birth rates include:-
| Highest | Lowest |
West Somerset (England) - 14.2% | Middlesbrough (England) - 0.4% Blyth Valley (England) - 0.4% |
East Lothian (Scotland) - 4.8% | Renfrewshire (Scotland) - 0.3% East Renfrewshire (Scotland) - 0.3% |
Powys (Wales) - 10.7% | Conwy (Wales) - 0.9% |
Government policy, as set out in Maternity Matters in England and the NICE Intrapartum Care Guideline, published by the Department of Health state that 'women should be offered the choice of planning birth at home, in a midwifery-led unit or a consultant-led unit.'
Mary Newburn continues;
"If the Government's choice guarantee for England is to be implemented by the end of 2009, considerable work must be done to increase access to home birth. We also welcome Keeping Childbirth Natural and Dynamic (KCND) in Scotland and the target for a 10% home birth rate in Wales as home birth initiatives."
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